the year is 2030. beyoncé and jay-z sit anxiously at the foot of their stairs, awaiting blue ivy’s arrival. it’s been nearly four days since either one of them has seen blue ivy, as she’d been celebrating her 18th birthday without limits. suddenly, the door swung open and blue ivy…
ten days after i turned 8, got my lips stuck in a gate. my friends all laughed and I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend the next 6 weeks in lip rehab with this kid named oscar who got stung by a bee, right on the lip, and we couldn’t even talk to each other until the 5th week cause both of our lips were so swollen, and when he did start speaking he just spoke polish and i only knew like three words in polish, except now, i know four because oscar taught me the word for lips. USTA
People on the street say mean things to me.
I get called Napoleon Dynamite because I have curly hair. I live in New York City and I ride a bicycle. I always bike down 9th Avenue and there’s this kid who goes to school there named Abraham. Every time I pass him, he calls me Napoleon Dynamite. He screams it out and his friends laugh. That was a fine movie but I wasn’t in it.
What do you say back?
I say, “Please Abraham, I’m not that man.”